People are crawling out of the Katrina mold infected woodwork to attack me for my negative observations about Chris Owens. Honestly I didn't know Chris Owens existed until a week ago. And then there she was on stage, but maybe this is all a mistake, because I swear what I saw on stage wasn't human. What I saw at the French Quarter Fest looked like a wax model of Cher from Ripleys had baked in the sun and partially melted, and then some wacky voodoo priestess brought it to life, but all it could do was bend over and shake its ass. I saw this horrible spectacle and felt that I needed to alert others. Then my former nemesis Adrastos got his gyro-smelling panties all bunched up, and then et tu Brute Luvzus fell in line like a lemming. But my favorite comes from HumidCity, but not so much the "We Love Chris Owens" post by BigezBear, but the comment from my newest latest nemesis named "Lord David the Pirate Artist." He concludes I don't like Chris Owens because I am a prude and should live in Branson Missouri. But I was mostly interested in that he signs his name as follows:
Pirate & Artist
Check out the link to skull club. There most of the website leads you to dead links, as it is hard to design websites when you have a hook instead of fingers. But check out the About Skull Club link. It's a "secret" club of Lord David the Pirate Artist, and they meet in secret, and did I say it's SECRET? It's like Fight Club, so they have a rule that if you talk about Skull Club, you will be killed, by pirates I assume. So why then does Lord David the Pirate put skull club on the web? I've found that with all of my secret clubs, publishing them on the web hinders their secrecy. And Lord David the Pirate Artist, will I have to walk the plank for this post? That would a cool way to die, as I have always thought one day I'd be run over by a Walmart truck in cruel irony. Anyway, skull club has a merchandise link, but it doesn't work. I'm hoping they sell paintings from Lord David the Pirate Artist, though it would be difficult to paint with a hook, and all the canvases are no doubt covered with parrot shit and smell like cheap rum and wenches. Plus he's a handicapped artist. I don't mean the peg leg, I mean the eye patch, as in no depth perception.
Oh yeah, check out his myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/skullclub. Anyway, Adrastos was a weak nemesis and was holding me back. Now with Lord David the Pirate Artist at the nemesis helm, well, shiver me freakin' timbers! Stay tuned for more pieces of hate. Yarrrrrrrggggghhhhhhh!