I very much liked this article by Thomas Harding. He witnessed the death of his 14-year-old son Kadian. Seven years later, he wrote a letter about advise he would give to himself when this tragedy happened. The point is sadly that the pain never goes away. He said it gets less "raw" but there is always a hole. When my son died, I had this idea that things would get better with time and the pain might go away one day.
Thursday, January 23, 2020
I had two dreams last night about Gilgamesh.
In the first we were in a small engine boat on a wide and swift river with some sort of a pet seal. We docked, and then I saw a bear with a hat in a boat come near us a bit further downstream. Then a second bear was swimming below the surface to catch up to the first. Our pet seal jumped in the water and swam to where the bears were. Gil tied off our boat and was walking towards the bears, they noticed him and there was going to be a big fight. I was frantically working to untie the boat so Gil, the seal, and me could escape the bears in the boat.
Then in the second dream Gil was a passenger in a red car with three other boys. They were driving around like everything was normal. Sometimes when I walk to work I feel overwhelmed and I just start crying. I heard today that Gil's school Lusher published the yearbooks that are dedicated to Gil. Therese teaches at the same school. I know today will be pretty dark for her.