My friend Sue has a dilemma. She lives in Indiana with about 100 cats and she wants to stop the oil spill. She has heard that animal hair can be used to sop up the oil, but unlike dogs, cats don't like to get shaved. So I am asking all cat owners to send me their felines. I will attach them to my fishing poles and launch them into the oily water. After a few minutes I will reel in the cats, clean them off with soap, and then cast them back into the spill. My plan doesn't involve robotic submarines so there will not be government funding.