Thursday, May 06, 2010

Using Cats to Save the Gulf

My friend Sue has a dilemma. She lives in Indiana with about 100 cats and she wants to stop the oil spill. She has heard that animal hair can be used to sop up the oil, but unlike dogs, cats don't like to get shaved. So I am asking all cat owners to send me their felines. I will attach them to my fishing poles and launch them into the oily water. After a few minutes I will reel in the cats, clean them off with soap, and then cast them back into the spill. My plan doesn't involve robotic submarines so there will not be government funding.


Sue said...

oil, rinse, repeat!


i love cat fishing.

make it a charter.

i'll help you defray your cost.

Cade said...

No one has made a Mollie Sugden joke yet?

Jim Anderson said...

The risk is that this and your next post will conflate: using cats to sop up an oilspill will lead inevitably to strange and dangerous cat mutations. And it won't take much: an angry hundered pound mutant cat will send your silly dogs yelping.