Sex and Oil and National Impotence

The first time I'd heard of the Minerals Management Service was two years ago. I read with interest that MMS employees engaged in sexual acts with oil company representatives. This intrigued me. As a Bible scholar who now and again dabbles in literary criticism, I'm well aware of the connection between water wells in literature and sexuality. Just about every time there is a well in the story, a wedding soon follows. Without going into too much detail, I'm willing here to focus on three words: round, wet, hole.

So with the MMS and oil industry added to the mix, we now could add words like oil, tap, and drill baby drill. In the past five weeks, ever since the rig exploded, I've included in my vocabulary blowout preventer, 21 inch pipe, spewing, gusher, and my favorite, the junk shot.

But it seems that while the United States can talk the talk, it can't walk the walk. Two articles in today's Times-Picayune caught my attention. The first was by John Tilove, and he argues that Americans are not only angry about the oil spill, but they also suffer from "wounded pride." We seem to believe that there is a really smart kid out there who can solve this problem but Obama and BP won't listen. As Professor Gstohl states in Geauxjira, "history shows again and again how nature points out the folly of man." The second is a column by Maureen Dowd who writes that the "plume of doom" is a "symbol of national impotence." We're told repeatedly that America is the best country on earth, but we can't plug a hole in the Gulf. This of course brings back memories of the flooding of New Orleans, another symbol of national impotence. I'm frankly tired of being involved with two monumental events in the past five years that are symbols of national impotence. So what will be this country's viagra? Probably a war as usual. Better get out my North Korea maps.