Saturday, April 11, 2009

Holy Peeps Monster Fails to Stop Buckmoth Caterpillar Plague

Like Egypt more than 3,000 years ago, New Orleans is plagued this time of year. But we don't have bloody rivers or frogs--we should be so lucky; instead we suffer stinging buckmoth caterpillars, or Hemileuca maia as I like to call them when I've been drinking. Here is a picture of the evil beast:
Because it's Passover, and because it's Holy Saturday, and because I'm the patriarch of a family of evil geniuses, today we decided to not take this plague passively. So we purchased the Caterpillar Kryptonite: Peeps:
Knowing full well that one peep would not survive a buckmoth caterpillar attack, Gilgamesh and Kalypso set to work combining the strongest elements of each Peep into a SuperPeep, sort of like Steve Austin, Frankenstein's Monster, and Robocop all in one. Here is our evil Easter laboratory:
Using pink chick peeps as feet was a no brainer, but then we went for yellow bunny body legs, with blue earless bunnies for the midsection. That was the evil genius part. Nobody would have ever thought of that. Muhaha!
In the end SuperPeep had three heads, a purple one, a yellow one in the middle, and on the other side, a blue head. In his right marshmellow hand he held an evil umbrella, in his left, a magic toothpick of insect death.
We brought the caterpillar to the Easter battle basket:
Instantly the caterpillar sprang to the jugular vein of the purple head on the peeps right, the caterpillar's left. The head came right off.
I know all about "science", so we all took detailed notes in a scientific journal.
We had to write fast though, because in 30 seconds the whole thing was over. There were peep parts everywhere. It was a horrifying marshmellowy carnage, though the smell was pleasant enough and reminded me of shmores minus the chocolate and graham.
So the caterpillar won this round, but we'll study our notes and be ready next year. As a bonus, what better pedagogical tool could anyone think of to better explain to my children the true meaning of Easter. That is of course if the Peeps tomb is empty tomorrow.


Sue said...

I love the picture of the kids in the Easter laboratory. And I'm glad to see you're teaching them the beauty of the scientific method. An Easter miracle.

adrastos said...

So this is how you trained for the crawfish berl? You are one weird Bible Dude...

siduri1 said...

Try microwaving those Peeps next time you want to make a SuperPeep; I speak from experience.

Leigh C. said...

Peeps are horrific, terrible things. This time, I was actually rooting for the horrific, terrible buckmoth caterpillar. Thanks for my Passover miracle - I never thought I'd ever want to root for anything that has tung the crap outta me as nastily as that freaking caterpillar.

Leigh C. said...

Whoops, that's "stung".

LatinTeacher said...

Peeps are made just a few miles from where I live. I can't stand how sweet they are, but they are fun to feed a one year old on his birthday.

SafeMeds Pharmacy said...

There are worse places to live. Like Japan that there is a part of the country that you can't live because of the radiation that it has.