Friday, December 05, 2008

I Hate the Alamo, and Tonight I Will Toast Santa Anna & the 21st Amendment With a Sazerac

Prohibition ended 75 years ago today. I'd celebrate proper if I were in New Orleans. Sadly, I'm in Texas for a SACS conference. SACS, which stands for the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools, is the organization which accredits my university. This SACS conference is in San Antonio, which is a pretty cool city for Texas, I suppose. It's certainly cooler than places like Dallas and Waco. But I went to the Alamo earlier, and the whole experience made me sick. It was like Texas religion, with relics of Bowie knives and Davy Crockett hats. Seriously, who wears a raccoon carcass on their head? Well, my quest tonight will be to get an alcoholic beverage, even though I'd estimate 9/10 of Texas is what they call a "dry" county. My friends in New Orleans do not know what that means. Let me explain: it means they don't serve alcohol, not even a dry martini. Well SACS sort of sounds like sazerac, which was the first cocktail, and it was invented in New Orleans. Maybe I'll even have three, and then put a dead rodent on my head and kill me a beaaaaaaar.

Shoot! I just learned that Fess Parker played both Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone. I guess when TV needed an actor who looked good with a raccoon carcass on his head, he was a no brainer.

Later note: I could not find a sazerac in all of San Antonio, so I had a whiskey with club soda and a lemon. It was not as good as a sazerac. People tend to drink budweiser in San Antonio, and the only mixed drinks I saw were green apple martinis.


Sue said...

Geez, it's a never ending job to teach you science.

Raccoons are not rodents, they belong to the order Carnivora. Rodents are Rodentia.

And just for the record...they're also not monkeys... ;-)=)

oyster said...

Well, he's dead on the money about S.A. being cooler than Dallas or Waco.

The Alamo is indeed lame, but Ozzy Osbourne pissed on it one time, which is sort of redeeming.

Leigh C. said...

I'll tell you why the Alamo is lame...there's no basement.

mominem said...

I think of the river in San Antonio as Bourbon Street with a water hazard.

Anonymous said...

I was in San Antonio the week before you. I suspected all you said about the Alamo and life is too hard right now to risk blood pressure and general health on an Alamo-induced hissy fit and subsequent police brutality.

As far as drinking, I drank mojitos and various-flavored maragaritas every day. Satisfying.