Saturday, April 12, 2008

A Roller Girl Funeral

Yesterday Gilgamesh and I went to Ashley Morris' funeral to celebrate the life of this remarkable man. I've never attended a funeral where so much of the personality of the deceased came across, and when I told this to Ashley's friend Ray, Ray said "Ashley gave us a big canvas on which to draw." Ashley was buried wearing a Michael "beerman" Lewis #84 Saints Jersey, a cigar, a copy of Confederacy of Dunces, drumsticks, a mufaletta, some booze, and many other things. My favorite part was the white fleur du lis flower arrangement that had a black and gold banner with the initials "FYYFF." The eulogies went great, except when Reverand Luvzus talked about how Ashley was like the prophet Hosea who did crazy things like marry a prostitute. I couldn't believe he said that, especially because the lovely widow Hana is a Big Easy Roller Girl and the girls were there with their skates in force. That might have been the most charming thing about the funeral, seeing roller girls in skates wave their white handkerchiefs during the second line. At the funeral, Ray did a moving revision of a Kermit Ruffins lyrics paying tribute to Ashley, and Oyster quoted the following verses from Song of Songs (8:6-7):

Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy [a] unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.

Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.

I think most of the people in attendance, and there were many, had come to know Ashley through his blog. I think it will be the best documented funeral in the history of New Orleans, and I predict that one day some graduate student will write a dissertation on Ashley Morris. Ashley would no doubt have called that person a "fuckmook."


Hana said...

yeah, I noticed the prostitute part too. And I was thinking - I have lived with this man for 12 years and never strayed. Com'on - a prostitute?


Michael Homan said...

Hana, I'll beat up Howie tomorrow when I see him. If there is anything we can do, please don't hesitate to ask.