It's grading time at Xavier, and I just responded to a student with the following email:
Dear student's name, while I didn't fully understand your email request, it seems that you are begging that I give you a high grade because of the following reasons:
1. The registrar made a mistake and so that is why you missed the first three weeks of class,
2. Auto accident forced you to miss even more classes,
3. Ulcer required bed rest and you missed even more classes, and in the end you were absent for 68% of the classes,
4. Repeated bad advice from other students and your advisor talking you out of dropping the course.
Is there anything I'm missing? While I'm qualified at assigning marks based on the quality of research papers and performance on exams, I'm not sure how to grade based on the circumstances which you outline. Please advise.
Dr. Homan
4 comments:
So you ruled out the standard "hell no" reply fairly soon, then?
Just get a FYYFF stamp.
I may steal this, substituting "You say you're suffering from severe depression and have begun self-mutilating behaviors that interfered with class attendance"...along with the missed weeks at the beginning and auto accident. I am always surprised when they leave out "my grandmother died" and "my dog ate my homework."
We're becoming old, jaded professors you realize??
Ah, your response is a thing of beauty.
I might have to post a couple of this semester's letters. I don't have the guts to actually send the snarky responses I write, but they help me get my frustrations out so I can respond properly, considering my position at the bottom of the academic food chain.
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