A personal journal about teaching the Bible and ancient Near Eastern history/theology/religion/archaeology to university students in New Orleans, and whatever else happens to be on my mind.
Monday, April 07, 2008
Oprah and Me Got a Bun in My Oven
Oh my God, I just realized that I'm pregnant, and Oprah is the father. And tell that bitch Thomas Beatie that Oprah and I did it without a uterus.
Congratulations, Michael. If you're going to be pregnant and over 40, you should definitely have a baby daddy who can take real good care of you. Please remember to invite me to the shower.
It started off with me and Stedman Graham just downing a couple of beers and watching the big game. I high-fived Stedman too hard, I guess. Then Oprah said she needed a backrub and Stedman was out (hurt hands from high five), so I volunteered. Then Oprah was all into how much I knew about the biblical character Orpah who she was named after but her parents spelled it wrong. Now of course Oprah is denying everything. I hope to surprise her with paternity results on Morry's show. Oh, and Therese doesn't know anything about this, so keep it hush hush.
4 comments:
Congratulations, Michael. If you're going to be pregnant and over 40, you should definitely have a baby daddy who can take real good care of you. Please remember to invite me to the shower.
Dude, how does Therese stand this? A one nighter with Oprah; appalling taste.
It started off with me and Stedman Graham just downing a couple of beers and watching the big game. I high-fived Stedman too hard, I guess. Then Oprah said she needed a backrub and Stedman was out (hurt hands from high five), so I volunteered. Then Oprah was all into how much I knew about the biblical character Orpah who she was named after but her parents spelled it wrong. Now of course Oprah is denying everything. I hope to surprise her with paternity results on Morry's show. Oh, and Therese doesn't know anything about this, so keep it hush hush.
Enkidu? Humbaba? Or are you going to move to another set of myths for a name??
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