Wednesday, September 14, 2011

9-11 Christmas Song

I watched just about all of the 9-11 anniversary material. I find it is important to be aware of politics and tragedy. But I'm also cynical and a big fan of kitsch. My favorite part of the 9-11 anniversary was an amazing painting that I think accurately depicts the sentiment of America. (HT gregp1134 on Twitter)
Yes, that's Santa having a hard time with 9-11, and Jesus is there to comfort him. Santa, overcome with grief, took off his hat and gloves at that angel statue, but then fell to his knees sobbing. Poor Santa. I've thought about the image quite a bit, and I've decided that the best thing to do for America is for me to make money off of the tragedy of 9-11 with a Christmas song. It's so sad it will have to be a country tune. All I have at the moment are the lyrics, but I think they're good enough for a Grammy or the country music equivalent (Hee Haw Award?).

Title: Don't Cry Santa Clause: The 9-11 Song

(verse 1)
The terrorists weren't thinking of Santa, when they made their evil plans.
They hated our freedom and Christmas cookies and Grandma's glaze-baked ham.
So they jacked four planes, took thousands of lives, when they crashed them from the sky.
But you crossed the line you SOBs when you made dear Santa cry!

Santa Clause didn't come to town, on the day terrorists knocked the towers down.
So let it all out Santa and dry your eyes, with a Jesus hug from the Lord Christ.
And cheer up Santa, we'll get revenge, we'll destroy their countries with bombs so then,
return Dear Santa to the north pole, and come 12-24, Let's roll!

(verse 2)
Nothing rhymes with Khalid Sheikh Muhammad, but we'll water board his ass 183 times for vice.
And on Christmas Eve he'll get no presents, cause Santa knows who's naughty and nice.
And Osama bin Laden, you deserved to die, for causing all of these tragedies,
But apologies to Saddam Hussein, cuz there were no WMD's.

(repeat Chorus)


Leigh C. said...

The Hooters 9/11 tribute should've included your song.

Michael Pascoe said...

I don't think this is kitsch at all. Sure it's in an advertisement of sorts, but I like the message. Santa and Jesus together like it should be.