Jealous Blogger and Elvis Tattoo Spoil My Political Ambitions

I just got back from my ASOR meeting at Duke, and let me tell you, flying coach with a broken clavicle and cracked ribs is no picnic. Moreover, as you remember from Therese's comment in the emergency room, I'm too fat, so that made it more difficult. Basically two things happened while I was in the land of the Blue Devils. First Therese and I appeared on the front page of Saturday's Inside-Out section in the Times-Picayune. Ultimately this caused me to lose an election. That's the second thing.

Photo by Rusty Costanza, Times-Picayune

About a week ago we found out that Editor B and his lovely wife Xy were having an Endymion party, and we knew there would be cameras involved, so I donned my best hat, green coat, and alligator shoes and hurried over there to get my picture taken and to further my sinister plot to steal B's identity. With this beyond-the-blog publicity, Adrastos, knowing full well that his negative "Swift Boat" attacks might influence my efforts to get elected to the Orleans Parish Democratic Executive Committee, unleashed the hounds. This was more than his usual "girly drink" allegations. But was it a coincidence you might ask that he published pictures of someone who looked like me with an Elvis tattoo just days before the election? Doubtful. But back to the picture of me suavely dancing with Therese, Adrastos wrote "Speaking of Media Ho Man, there's a picture of him and his charming wife Therese on the cover of the dead tree version of the Picayune's Inside Out Section. Therese looks as lovely as ever. How she ended up with Homan is one of the enduring mysteries of the galaxy." Ouch. That vitriol caused me the election.

The rest is history. OK, maybe people decided they couldn't vote for someone wearing green alligator shoes, or maybe the fact that I know so little people here except for 19 year old Xavier students who don't vote anyway, maybe these had something to do with my loss as well. But crap, I thought I could at least make it into this position, as you only needed to be in the top 14. I received 1,686 votes, but I needed about 400 more. I lacked "Homentum" as Adrastos gloated, and I should have gone negative. Or as Jeffrey put it: "Seems the Elvis-hugging old-school kicker vote just didn't materialize this time around." Indeed.

Here are the vote totals LINK

Congratulations to Dangerblond and Karen Gadbois, both of whom got elected. I take some selfish solace from the fact that Mark Moseley was defeated as well, as I think he would have been the most qualified out of all the candidates. And oh yeah, way to go Obama! And Barack, stay away from the green alligator shoes...