This year it was our first Mardi Gras without our son Gilgamesh. It was difficult. I sat out most of it and laid low. I'm tired of running into people who tell me how sorry they are about Gil. Others who lost children foretold to us that the grief would get worse before it gets better. Both Therese and I have admitted that we feel worse now than we did a few months ago. It's like a giant weight is crushing me, or that I feel broken. My mother-in-law Mary Mike was here for 10 days, which I kept reminding her was a pretty long visit. It was good though because it forced us to get out and do a few things. One of the things was taking some of Gil's ashes to the Mississippi River on Mardi Gras day with the Krewe of Saint Anne. That was hard, but as so many people in New Orleans do this custom, it was nice to be around others who were mourning. It's one of those weird quirky things about this city that I love. Many people in clever costumes putting ashes in the river and pouring libations and talking about the lives of their friends and loved ones. Here's a picture of Kalypso and Gilgamesh from Mardi Gras Day 2012. We were watching as the members of the Krewe of St. Anne were doing their annual ashes into the river thing. I had a nice conversation with Gilgamesh about the ritual.
It was much more crowded when we did this last week. You can see the steps going down to the water. That's where it happens. Mardi Gras in New Orleans is of course one of the best things about living here. It was a big part of Gilgamesh's life. He loved to hang out with his friends at the parades.
A few years ago we celebrated Mardi Gras in Cyprus. Gil commented that it was just about what he'd expect from Cyprus. I always thought that was funny. Here's a picture of those happier times at Cyprus carnival. Gilgamesh is holding silly string.