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Friday, December 05, 2008

I Hate the Alamo, and Tonight I Will Toast Santa Anna & the 21st Amendment With a Sazerac

Prohibition ended 75 years ago today. I'd celebrate proper if I were in New Orleans. Sadly, I'm in Texas for a SACS conference. SACS, which stands for the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools, is the organization which accredits my university. This SACS conference is in San Antonio, which is a pretty cool city for Texas, I suppose. It's certainly cooler than places like Dallas and Waco. But I went to the Alamo earlier, and the whole experience made me sick. It was like Texas religion, with relics of Bowie knives and Davy Crockett hats. Seriously, who wears a raccoon carcass on their head? Well, my quest tonight will be to get an alcoholic beverage, even though I'd estimate 9/10 of Texas is what they call a "dry" county. My friends in New Orleans do not know what that means. Let me explain: it means they don't serve alcohol, not even a dry martini. Well SACS sort of sounds like sazerac, which was the first cocktail, and it was invented in New Orleans. Maybe I'll even have three, and then put a dead rodent on my head and kill me a beaaaaaaar.

Shoot! I just learned that Fess Parker played both Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone. I guess when TV needed an actor who looked good with a raccoon carcass on his head, he was a no brainer.


Later note: I could not find a sazerac in all of San Antonio, so I had a whiskey with club soda and a lemon. It was not as good as a sazerac. People tend to drink budweiser in San Antonio, and the only mixed drinks I saw were green apple martinis.

5 comments:

  1. Geez, it's a never ending job to teach you science.

    Raccoons are not rodents, they belong to the order Carnivora. Rodents are Rodentia.

    And just for the record...they're also not monkeys... ;-)=)

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  2. Well, he's dead on the money about S.A. being cooler than Dallas or Waco.

    The Alamo is indeed lame, but Ozzy Osbourne pissed on it one time, which is sort of redeeming.

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  3. I'll tell you why the Alamo is lame...there's no basement.

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  4. I think of the river in San Antonio as Bourbon Street with a water hazard.

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  5. Anonymous12:52 PM

    I was in San Antonio the week before you. I suspected all you said about the Alamo and life is too hard right now to risk blood pressure and general health on an Alamo-induced hissy fit and subsequent police brutality.

    As far as drinking, I drank mojitos and various-flavored maragaritas every day. Satisfying.

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