As you can see, it was a large teddy bear, wearing lingerie, and just to the right of this saucy stuffed animal was a small outboard boat engine. I have several theories about what happened prior to this moment, but I need you, the readers of this blog, to play detective and give me your theories about what happened just before that bizarre and fateful moment when this bear, wearing this lingerie, came to rest next to this boat motor. I should also add that the concrete you see on the top is the canal that runs by Xavier. This same canal further to the north is the infamous 17th street canal that breached. So have at it detectives.
At first I thought this was a case for my wife, she reads mystery stories with an avidity that surprises me. It does not matter whether the victim is a 12th century monk or a 21st century monkey, she will read any book in the library with a gun on its spine (the secret code for murder mysteries).
ReplyDeleteBut alas, she only reads the things, for this you need a mystery writer and they are much harder to come by...
uh...things that happen in New Orleans stay in New Orleans.
ReplyDeleteShirley
The bear was trying to hitch a ride with a passing boater during the flood. He thought his best chance was to look sexy (hence the outfit). The boat captain refused so the bear latched on to the motor until it came off. The captain then beat the bear to death with the paddle and paddled off.
ReplyDeleteYour anonymous friend Howie Luvzus.
Ted the bear was terrified, as the waters were rising, and he could not swim. He tried to learn to swim once, but it turned out that he was a stuffed bear, and without blubber and lungs, let alone gills, he didn’t have much luck in the water. He asked several neighbors if he could come along with them as they evacuated. But the neighbors all knew Ted’s secret: he was fond of women’s underwear. And not just plain women’s underwear, oh no, Ted liked the red fancy kinds, especially teddies. When the water was high enough for boats to come by Ted started to get very tired and scared. He asked a Cajun guy named Boodreaux in a motor boat if he could come along. Boodreaux said “I done been warned not to pick up de bears, and I be knowin’ bout you, and youse underwear.” Ted got angry and took off his clothes, except for the underwear of course. He made a lasso out of his clothes and he latched it on to Boodreaux’s motor. Ted pulled and pulled, and finally the motor came off of the boat. Boodreaux drowned after cursing the bear. Ted died in his fancy red underwear, right next to the motor that almost motored him to dry land.
ReplyDeletecan I fuck you?
ReplyDelete