I Sometimes Go Off on Tangents
Me: It's a scientific fact that African Americans are more likely to spill drinks than white people. That's why you can't have drinks in the classroom here at Xavier, but at schools like Tulane and UNO it is OK. White people have millions of years of evolution where their Caucasian monkey ancestors held demitasse cups with their pinkies out and their white monkey hands steady.
Student: I think we should get to do whatever we want in this classroom. We're paying for it.
Me: If I can teach you one thing, it's that you can never do what you want, even with lots and lots of money. Take Senator Vitter for example. Even when he was dropping thousands of dollars at the Canal Street Brothel and the DC Mayflower hotel, there were still rules. Sure money got him over the diaper hurdle to feed his fetish, but there were still things that the prostitutes wouldn't let David Vitter do.
Student: Like have drinks in the room?
Me: Exactly! That red shag carpet is expensive, and stains at a whore house, well that's just tacky and bad for business.